Beep's Purple Blog

 It is home from the hospital and doing well :)  I admit to having missed it very much :)

 If I haven't gotten back to you, this may be the reason.  It's time for all of my data to be backed up so the computer can go to the hospital tomorrow early am!

I wasn't able to finish this but would welcome constructive comments.

*wave*

 My beloved aluminum case is warping.   The laptop has to go in tomorrow am to the brand new Santa Barbara Apple Store, where I will be taking dburr  at 9 am for a special event.  This is payback for his taking care of me over the weekend.  I'm not really sure why I was so exhausted when I came home Thursday night from back east, since mom and I kept a pretty restful schedule while there, but I think it is because I was so sick when I started the trip.  Anyway, he waited on me while I spent most of the weekend in bed with pure exhaustion, and I promised him a treat in return, and this is the treat he wants.

So today I had made an appt. for Apple to phone me, which they did, and they told me it would have to be looked at in a store's Genius Bar.  I went to the Santa Barbara  one because I had a medical appt. there today (which I had to keep because the warm weather made my ingrown toenails grow in earlier and deeper and ouchier even than usual.  My mom escaped this lovely heredity from my grandmother, but my aunts and I did not.)   I was lucky and got someone who will not charge me the $1000 they could charge for the repair (may as well buy a new computer at that point, which I can't do.)  I want to make sure these are the arrangements which are kept so it is going in w/out delay.

I can still do email on my eee PC and also post here...but no photos.  And the eee is linux based so I have no way to use Windows programs, which I have to use for a lot of things I am doing with other ppl.  Dburr is going to try to let me borrow his laptop.  There is an old mini on my desk which I can use for some things, but sitting hurts me right now since whatever the joints are that are right under my tush, on the back of my upper legs, hurt.  I've also got bursitis on the sides of my hip so lying down isn't so much fun either but the bursitis seems to respond to my pain meds better than whatever is going on where I sit.  Ok TMI.  Fellow patients will understand and nod their heads wisely.  Can't stand, can't sit, can't lie down, rock, hard place, nothing new here.

I was a bitch on two occasions today.  Some would say that is because the moon is in my sign right now ;)  And...some wouldn't say that.  Whatever.  Anyway, until I got physically worn out because I have very little stamina still, I was not in the mood to be walked over, although I wasn't really in a bad mood.  I am very stressed out by some things that are on my mind and I am trying not to internalize these feelings for the simple reason that I don't want to shoot my blood sugar back up again.  So that's why this was not the best day to cross me, and someone sure did.  And I talked about it a bit here but now I am going to cut and paste It into a Friends Only entry because I realize that is the safer thing to do.  That was the first occasion.  The second was complaining about something I've been meaning to complain about -- that all of the tomatoes in the market near me are from Mexico, and we supposedly grow them in this state.  Not only is our unemployment approaching 12%, but I have gotten sick on tomatoes from Mexico.  I'm immunosuppressed and probably overly sensitive.  I am not racist and have no problem with imports unless we are foolishly putting our own people out of work or they are not good substitutes for our own products, and this situation is both.  When I say I got sick I mean VERY sick.  Like not worth risking happening ever again, sick.  A fellow lupus patient told me to buy vegetable wash but although the market knew what that was they said they are not selling it any more.

I don't blame Mexico for not cleaning up their water since it seems to be ok if you grew up with it.  I don't know how much it cuts down on their potential tourist income.  But that's for them to analyse and decide upon.  However, I do not think we should be importing products that can make people who grew up here very sick.  I also don't think we should be importing products that are grown down the street.  Sheesh.

I am so tired now, and grateful dburr brought some food to my bed, but when I have energy again I know I have a lot to say about how my poor state government has gone completely and dangerously mad in the face of the latest budget deficit.  I'm talking mad enough to be contemplating murder.  I feel like I am watching the end of civilization and am wondering very much why no one is creating a media event which says something along the lines of:  THIS IS MADNESS; STOP IT, RIGHT NOW.

Completely certifiable.  Let's let people die to balance the budget, but not give up our free cars.  And the people are supposed to quietly acquiesce.

Well, not this member of the people.  I will not go quietly.  You heard it here first.

 This has been a very hard day. Too hard for me to even discuss.  Yes, even I have limits on what I will post here, although I really shouldn't, since I am mostly talking to myself.  There are some side benefits, I guess, to being totally and permanently unpopular in every possible social sphere.   I have freedom because no one cares what I do.

However, I did hear from an actual friend on the phone tonight,  whose call I would have missed if I hadn't had so many telemarketers call tonight that I decided to start answering them and make them go away.   (Yes, the number IS on the Do Not Call list.) It is always good to hear from this friend because she also has chronic illness and chronic financial challenges and chronic difficulty in not meeting people's expectations of her because of the illness and its unpredictability...so she does not misjudge me and my motives and level of effort.

Anyway, my poor friend has three computers in her home...and they all got the Conflicker worm!

I was glad I did all of the research on it after all.

What does depress me is that clearly some of the world's most brilliant minds are bent on making a mess of things instead of working on the challenging problems facing us.  As if Einstein had decided to become an investment banker.  Not the best use of resources.

 For anyone interested, go here .  :)

No, I haven't read the Tom's Hardware version (link in the article) yet (MIGRAINE !!!)
But I know their rep was good years ago at least.  

The one good thing about script kiddies et al making threats about April Fool's Day is that it sparks discussion about security issues that are sometimes ignored...IMHO.

 I was helping a friend protect their computer today which is running Windows Vista (it didn't have service pack 1, or the latest patches from Microsoft Security, OR an updated antivirus program -- I put free AVG in for now.)  But I have another migraine from hell and now that I am home I'm happy to touchtype (knowing I will make mistakes so no important documents tonite!) but really don't want to look at the screen much and make the headache/nausea worse.  

However, I've been trying to find out if Mac users such as myself who do run Windows in Parallels in order to access certain IE-only websites need antivirus protection.  The best discussion I have found so far, with my limited ability to search tonight, is here.  Just FYI for anyone else in my situation!

The Conficker Worm

Conficker A and B; from Microsoft

Conficker C

 I'm now on Twitter .

 I am NOT going to give up all the things I do on my computer.  I may have to give up every food I ever liked but I am drawing the line at this one.  Sorry, modern-day Puritans.  There is only so much sheer misery I will put up with.  You will not take my laptop away.

It is one of the major joys of my life as a disabled person.  But I have learned that for me, there is no way I'm going to be able to enjoy typing if I have to prick my fingertips all the time for blood testing.  It is the recommended place, and I was shown the technique of doing it painlessly on the side of the finger, but pain when the puncture is actually happening is not my problem.  I have a high pain threshold; that little sting is no big deal.  But whether it be poor circulation from the diabetes or the heart thing or the lung thing or Raynaud's Phenomenon or the poor healing from being immunosuppressed, my fingertips hurt to the point of tears days AFTER the pin pricks.  And they heal at a glacial pace.  

No more for me.  I'm using my arm until someone comes up with a better idea and I'm letting the invisible thin hot burning wires that are running from the tips of my fingers up to my shoulders heal and go away (I hope for the go away part, anyway.)

Until they do I might have quiet periods (like if  wake up tomorrow and one of them is a swollen mess or ulcerated or necrotizing or something) and I just didn't want anyone to think I was dead or even worse, being rude :)

 I cannot edit photos properly because when I try to slide the adjustment levels in iPhoto they get "stuck" and I get a good old Mac pizza (like the Windows hourglass).

I know something is wrong, of course, but I just didn't have time for more computer disaster before Christmas.  And of course my Christmas pictures were taken with a camera I was not familiar with and someone left on a strange color setting, so I need to edit them, which I can't do.

I guess it's time to reinstall but I feel like I never get to actually *use* this computer much any more, just constantly get it repaired.

 This dwelling has been w/out dsl for almost an hour now, just fyi for other local DSLExtreme subscribers who might be seeing this from dialups or other connections.  dburr  called them and it is a known problem affecting SoCal customers who have Verizon.  D'ya think this could be a Verizon problem (again)?  Say it isn't so...;)

My computer is occasionally getting too hot.  I know that fan is sick.  I wonder now when I can schedule a fix since I was way too sick to keep yesterday's appt.  

 Boy are dying fans NOISY.  All kinds of dramatic sounds.

 Everything I need to get done before Christmas is on my laptop, which just had its entire logic board replaced.  Now I'm hearing a bizarro noise.  Dburr says it sounds like a dying fan.  I can't take it in AGAIN.  In fact I have to go to the dentist tomorrow which is many miles in the opposite direction of the Apple store...!

Back to the Pony Express?

 Ok I installed a program.  The computer is not hot like it has been getting (yet) but already I'm getting spikes of 79 degrees.  I've only had the thing on for a few minutes.

*I* think it's a hardware problem.  However, I probably don't know what I am talking about.  I know nothing about hardware.

Specs:

Model Name: MacBook

  Model Identifier: MacBook2,1

  Processor Name: Intel Core 2 Duo

  Processor Speed: 1.83 GHz

  Number Of Processors: 1

  Total Number Of Cores: 2

  L2 Cache: 2 MB

  Memory: 2 GB

  Bus Speed: 667 MHz

  Boot ROM Version: MB21.00A5.B07

  SMC Version: 1.13f3

  Serial Number: 4H704236WGK

  Sudden Motion Sensor:

  State: Enabled

 

 I am not crazy.  My computer overheats often now.  It has again at this moment and will not let me charge it.  This is not normal.  It never acted like this before about four weeks ago.

I wish I had a spare moment to argue with you.  Or any energy.  If I ever get my groove back, you are toast.  I need this computer for just about everything I am doing right now to survive, can't buy another one, and you will honor this warranty.

 It's running hot sometimes with no explanation.  It doesn't do this in front of computer doctors.  Its hardware tests are all normal, although one of the Genius Bar techs did notice that when I am trying to multitask it runs much slower than the hardware it has should dictate.

So it's home in bed with me.  At least it has a mom who understands.  *I* know something is wrong.  *I* know it has been overheating to the point of reaching black-screen-shutdown, can't-even-charge-it-till-it-cools-down mode.  *I* know a high fever when I see one.

I want to make sure the backups are complete and then nuke and pave the drive.  Complete reinstall.

I've been looking at the Activity Monitor when I notice it is getting slow or I hear the fans working hard (on this cool evening...).  What I see is a spike in Safari and a bigger spike in "kernel task".  And yes, it does this even on hard surfaces that should be good for its ventilation.

I wish I had bought the 500 backup drive (I got the 320) because I may want the new 500 laptop hard drive in it.  Just in case there are hard drive space issues.  Not that I can afford either one right now.  I had to put a new printer on the card I really need to pay off already (the printer died unceremoniously.)  

This is not a cheap month.  Dburr got the last notice of what the IRS wants, and that takes first priority.  I have to find something, somewhere, I can use to pay for at least part of car and tenants' insurance, due the 17th.  And it is my mom's 75th birthday on the 19th; she deserves something nice.  It's going to be really hard to make something if my body is on strike.  

Oh, and thanks Arnie, for the extra $100 a month I have to take out of my already too-low-to-be-sure-of-survival income.  Some nice doc thought the change was for $100/year.  He couldn't believe $100/month, from the desperately poor.  Well, believe it.  

But remember, I personally am the cause of Obama winning and friends having to pay more taxes (they assume.)  And yet someone else blamed me for Prop 8 passing.  You know you are a  moderate when both sides hate ya.  The amazing power I hold...I caused a national electoral landslide and the passing of a hateful state initiative, all by myself!  You would think with such amazing influence I could get rid of the gov's nasty budget cut that just kicked me in the financial spleen, but life is full of inconsistencies...

Anyway, this computer problem is forcing us to do what I've been wanting to do anyway, which is to get the mini up and running.  I really need a computer.  For one thing, when my joint pains are bad, like now, I can't read my own handwriting.  I'm certainly not going to inflict it on others.  And with the latest health insurance crisis, I have a lot of research to do, and I certainly can't afford to pay anyone to do it for me!  

Public-use computers don't help me much.  Usually they are situated right under a fluorescent light.  And I have so much "down time".  Today all I was able to do was pick up the computer.  I really wanted to do a lot of other things (errands) and pick up dburr when he got in.  Also it was a nice day in SLO; it would have been great to walk around and get some exercise.  But I had to come home and sleep more, and finally give in and take some painkillers with power, so I could use my hands at all.  Joint pains everywhere, ow ow ow ow ow.

But bet my blood work is GREAT.  Like before I was dxed.  Loads of pain and no proof.


When I saw a rheumatologist in the autumn of 1985, he thought I had the worst case of rheumatoid arthritis he had ever seen.  I leaned on counters rather than sit down then as I would get stuck in chairs and not be able to get out of them.  I was not overweight then.  I was also 22 years old.  And the bad blood tests FINALLY showed up.  It was kind of too late then.

Anyway, I missed the computer a lot when it was in the hospital.  It is really my only means of communication with the outside world.  I don't know why it is often so hard to hear on the phone when I get sick.  Years ago I had documented hearing loss from lupus that was quite serious, but most of it came back.  Recent tests have been good.  Who knows.

Computer, I will treat you.  If you need a new HD or whatever; I'll get it somehow.  I don't need any stupid tests to know something is wrong. Fuck 'em all.  Seriously.  I believe you!

 I joined up.

Two places I've lived in (Providence, RI and Santa Barbara, CA) mentioned and Facebook...

sometimes I wonder what people searching for me on the web learn. Mostly, though, I don't want to know.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/07/18/facebook.evidence.ap/

Got to take whatever excuse for a holiday we can get ;)

While knowing that anyone who were directed to do any kind of spying on me, electronic or otherwise, would be well advised to petition for hazard pay based on the real risk of dying of boredom...(she bought dishwashing liquid! Again! Alert the C-in-C!) I was wondering if the proposed requirements might be a problem for some businesses.

Looks like Amazon, eBay, etc. might have a problem, for starters:

http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/06/20/1234214

http://www.freedomworks.org/processor/printer_press.php?press_id=2571

So now you all know what I meant.

I don't know if this provision was kept in the bill or not; I'm not in a position to do any research tonight.

I've got the stomach flu, per a doc today. Again. The relapse is much worse than the original bout of it. Could stress play a role? Oh no, not here in the land of Stolen Mail and Its Consequences...

It was hard just getting to the doc today. I had to travel with a "get sick into this bag"...not easy when you are the driver.